Star Wars: The Phantom Menace

---

A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.

—Palpatine

---

The first of the Stars Wars prequels, with the politics, midichlorians, CGI, and all the other things Star Wars fans love to complain about.

I remember a more innocent time, when I didn’t know I was supposed to hate this movie.

I didn’t even know it was considered a “prequel.” I just considered it and all the other prequels Star Wars. I never heard the word prequel applied to them or thought of them that way. In my mind, there was no differentiation between the prequels and the originals. It was just one series… Star Wars. Duh.

Don’t you just hate the Internet, where people ruin movies that seem perfectly fine?

And yet I liked this film more than A New Hope growing up. That old one I couldn’t get more than a few minutes into. Take that, hard-core original Star Wars fans.

To be fair, the most interesting part of this movie was seeing what new outfit Padme would have in each scene. I was fascinated by that woman’s wardrobe.

Now, I’m not going to go into detail about every little reason why this film’s somehow atrocious or rehash things we all know. Go elsewhere for that.

What It’s About.

The movie considers you to be an intelligent literate person, and so begins with the opening crawl as usual. We find that there’s something going on with trade routes and trade has been blocked to a planet called Naboo. If I cared more, I would better explain the politics of it. And I don’t want to even for this review. It doesn’t seem that important anyway.

All we need to know is that two Jedi have been sent out to resolve some political drama, and on the way discover a boy who has something mysterious about him. Also, one of them isn’t even a Jedi yet, we find, even though the opening crawl said he was.

There’s always a bigger fish…

We meet the young Obi-wan and an older Jedi master, Qui-gon Jinn. Qui-gon is kind and wise, although upon rewatch, I was little surprised at how sketchy some of his actions are.

Like rigging a cube toss, and trying to trick an alien into accepting worthless currency.

The infamous Jar Jar Binks is Jar Jar, as usual, and while he can be a little annoying I certainly never found him unbearable. He shows more emotion and mannerisms than the entire ensemble cast of this film put together.

I scarcely think I’m exaggerating that.

The performances in this film generally feel very flat and unengaging. I never cared about the queen’s problems or about Obi-wan at all. Shmi plays a convincing role as Anakin’s mother, I’ll mention that. Ian McDermid kills it as Palpatine, as usual.

As for little Anakin…I really liked the kid. Why are people always complaining about his being terrible in this film, when he’s actually not? He’s kind and helpful and endearing. The actor may not deliver an Oscar-level performance, but he does what’s necessary and is adorable in the role…and he’s a kid, so give it a break.

Especially after watching the originals, I really like the sort of cold air and straight-forward attitude he brings to the role sometimes. Even though he’s just a kid, it aligns well with the Vader most of us already know (Not me though, I was a little surprised when someone told me this sweet kid’s future). Sure, Anakin is unbearable in Attack of the Clones, but that’s a different actor.

I honestly don’t have much to say about the characters in this film. They’re sort of just there, while the story moves them along.

Yousa in big do-do this time!

The cinematography is a bit static, but the visuals are full and striking. The lightsaber duel at the end is incredibly choreographed and amazingly well done. As someone who grew up doing martial arts, I admired the actor’s skills and high kicks and impeccable technique—and I tried to copy him with my staff!

It’s probably the best done duel out of the prequels when it comes to the sense actual of danger and stakes and force behind the blows. And there’s not a whiny obnoxious kid involved rushing headlong into it. You know who I’m talking about.

So while the majority of this movie might not be great, I’ve always loved the climax and ending, if only for the epic duel and the mystique of the funeral and the fantastic musical number at the end.

A fun film that’s definitely not a favorite of mine, but is worth checking out if only because it’s Star Wars.